How to Build Trust with Yourself Again (After You’ve Broken Promises to Yourself)

When I stopped trusting myself

Not long ago, I said yes to an opportunity that, deep down, didn’t feel aligned.

I had a quiet knowing, a few doubts, an internal hesitation, but I brushed them aside. I even mentioned it to others, almost hoping someone would tell me not to go through with it. But I ignored those signs. Other parts of me (more on this in next week’s blog) wanted the security, the structure, and the promise of a steady income after years of freelancing.

So, I said yes.

I told myself it was a smart move. That it would all work out. That discomfort was just fear — and I’d get over it.

But what followed was a difficult chapter.

It wasn’t one big dramatic story, just a slow, persistent sense of misalignment. I felt off in ways I couldn’t always explain. I tried to adjust, to stay optimistic, to make it work, because I wanted it to work. I wanted to believe I could handle it. I didn’t want to give up.

But over time, I began to notice how much I was shrinking. I felt less like myself. I became more reactive, more exhausted, more anxious. My energy shifted. I lost touch with my creative spark, my clarity, my joy. My boundaries blurred, and I started compromising on what I knew mattered most to me.

And yet, I stayed. For a while.

Because that’s what we do sometimes: we stay until we’re ready to choose something different.

And when I finally did, it wasn’t the job that was hardest to leave. It was the trust I had to rebuild with myself afterwards.

The Hardest Part

It wasn’t quitting that hurt the most. It was what came after — the voice inside that whispered:

“Why didn’t you listen to yourself sooner?”

“Why did you stay when it didn’t feel right?”

“How could you have betrayed your own needs like that?”

It took me a while to realise: I wasn’t just grieving the experience — I was grieving the loss of trust in myself.

The part of me that used to know.

The part of me that used to listen.

The part of me that used to believe I could make aligned choices and follow through on them.

And that’s what I had to repair. Not just my confidence, but the relationship I have with myself.

Why Self-Trust Matters

Self-trust is the foundation for everything: your decisions, your relationships, your ability to lead yourself through life with clarity and confidence. When you trust yourself, you become your own safe place.

But when that trust breaks? It’s like your internal GPS stops working. You second-guess. You outsource decisions. You lose that inner anchor: the one that says, “You’ve got this.”

Rebuilding that trust isn’t about perfection. It’s about small, loving steps back into self-leadership.

How to Rebuild Self-Trust

1. Own the truth (with compassion)

Not with shame or blame: just gentle honesty.

“I didn’t listen to myself, and that hurt.”

Self-leadership begins with acknowledging your part, not punishing yourself for it. The truth might sting, but it also sets you free.

2. Reconnect with your inner signals

Your body and intuition are always sending you messages, you might just need to relearn their language.

Ask yourself:

• What does a yes feel like in my body?

• What does a no feel like?

• What situations leave me energised vs. drained?

Hack to try:

Start a phone note titled “My YES & NO List.” Add little examples throughout your day. Over time, you’ll spot your patterns more easily.

3. Forgive yourself

Forgiveness isn’t letting yourself off the hook — it’s choosing to stop punishing yourself.

Ask:

• What did I learn?

• What would I do differently next time?

Visual tip: Write a few kind truths or boundaries you’ve learned from this on sticky notes and place them where you’ll see them daily.

4. Honour your needs — even in small ways

Self-trust is built in micro-moments:

• Go for that walk you said you would.

• Say no when you mean no.

• Choose rest when your body asks for it.

Every time you follow through, you’re proving to yourself that you’re safe in your own hands.

5. Redefine what strength looks like

Staying in something misaligned isn’t strength. Strength is knowing when to choose differently.

Strength is self-honesty. Strength is walking away without needing permission.

You Can Trust Yourself Again

Rebuilding self-trust isn’t linear. But every small moment you listen, honour, and choose yourself, it adds up.

It took me a while to forgive myself, to hear my intuition again, and to believe I could make decisions that feel right, not just look right on paper.

But I’m here now.

And if you’re reading this, maybe you’re on that path too.

You’re not broken. You’re rebuilding.

And there’s nothing more powerful than a woman who trusts herself again.

Have you ever had to rebuild trust with yourself? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.

Sending love, Mimi